Adoption

My twenty-sixth birthday was two months after my second miscarriage. I was at the height of my misery, and was doubting that I would be able to become a mother naturally. On my birthday I asked N that, if we shouldn't have made significant progress (pregnant and through the first trimester) by my twenty-eighth birthday, then we would start looking into adoption.

To me, adoption seems like the most natural thing in the world. My family began to do foster care when I was eleven. For a while we just took in babies under one year old (my mom had some serious baby fever), but then less than a week before Christmas 1995 we took in a set of siblings, a three-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl.

After four years and a lot of drama my parents adopted the girl, but she was my Baby Sister from the moment she first walked in our door, not when the Judge signed the papers. I love her to death. I can't imagine my life without her as my sister.

But N wasn't willing to commit to my timeline. He doesn't have any personal experience with adoption. It's a foreign concept to him, and I think he doubts his ability to love an adopted child. He doesn't give himself enough credit! I know how much love he is capable of. When I see him with our Godson, it just about breaks my heart.

I've been worrying about N a lot lately. He is very stressed and isn't sleeping well. I think most of it stems from the as-yet unsuccessful job search. I've never been particularly devoted to St. Joseph, but recently, seemingly out of nowhere, I have been feeling the urge to ask for his help.

Today is my Novena Day, and I will be praying a Novena to St. Joseph to help my dear sweet husband. Not to make him agree to my adoption timeline, but just to guide him in general.